IF YOU ASK ME… Love yourself – love your body

Why are so many women and girls obsessing over weight and body image? If you ask me, I think our society places far too much emphasis on a woman’s appearance rather than on what’s on the inside – a woman’s heart. So many of us are suffering from low self-image because we feel that we do not match up to what society says we should look like in order to be considered perfect.
What is perfect? Who knows? I think perfect is what each individual defines perfect to be. I am perfect because I am a child of God and I love myself. I think that it is time for others to quit dictating what makes a woman beautiful.
I am so tired of women criticizing and judging one another! We get enough of that every day from the society around us and from the stares of some men. If you ask me, I believe that we should look at these men the way they look at us – like something is wrong with them. Why should we ignore it when they gain a few pounds, get bald-headed, or grow beer bellies? Why not reflect that behavior back at them and show them how it feels to be judged according to appearance? We girls might like to have a little more physical attractiveness as well as other good qualities in our men. Nevertheless, we accept what they bring to us and make them feel special, however inadequate they may be in terms of what we want. If you’re doing whatever it is that you do to your body for a man, you are making a mistake. If he has wandering eyes, it will not matter what you do. He will still look at other women.
For your information, wandering eyes are as natural as night and day for some men. Gone are the days of a woman thinking that because a man married her he no longer sees anything else out there to admire. If you ask me, some men marry for different reasons. Some are looking for a mommy – someone to wash, cook, and clean after them. When this mommy-finding mission is accomplished, those same men may go out to find the perfect affair – a woman who does not do any of the mommy things but simply pleasures him in a way that mommy is not expected to do.
Ladies, you must find your own inner beauty. Never allow anyone to invalidate you as a woman. All women are beautiful and special in their own right. Love and embrace the goddess in you. Everyone will not be 120 lbs, and not everyone will look great at that weight either. I see some older women thinking all they have to do to be beautiful is be skinny, but then they lose the structure that supported their skin. I think that some of those women looked much better with a nice full face because this hid a number of wrinkles.
In a nutshell, ladies, whatever you do, do it for you. If you want to lose weight, great, but do it for yourself, for your health and well being, not for a man or because of pressure from society. If you ask me, I’d simply say, ladies, take care of you. Do the things in life that make you happy and fulfilled. Make the best of your life and make wise decisions. Do not settle for just anything. Be patient and get the very best that life has to offer you. Take a lesson from Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else guard your affections, for they influence everything else in your life.”
Betty LaMarr is an advocate for women’s issues and concerns. If you have questions or comments, email askbettylamarr@aol.com. You may also tune in to The Betty LaMarr Show on Channel 17 every Tuesday at midnight. In April her article will focus on her interview with PBS talk show host, Tavis Smiley.


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